10 Reasons Why Turkey Should Not Celebrate Christmas

It’s still a hurting fact that we Turkish people don’t celebrate Christmas but we want to. It’s a lie if anyone says we don’t. Look around, in Turkey, every shop, whether they are in a city with a foreign population or not, has a Christmas tree before the New Years Eve. 

“New Year's Eve is observed annually on December 31, the final day of any given year in the Gregorian calendar. In modern societies, New Year's Eve is often celebrated at social gatherings, during which participants dance, eat, consume alcoholic beverages, and watch or light fireworks to mark the incoming year. The observance of New Year's Eve generally extends through midnight of January 1” Says Wikipedia.

So, new years eve has nothing to do with Islam, alcohol is forbidden, fireworks is not a aprt of culture and consuming more than you need is strictly prohibited according to the religion. Gregorian calendar? I am not even going there.

Would Christmas matter for nonreligious people if it wasn’t a bank holiday? That question is worth talking about, but I personally think whether religious or not, people are born with a need to believe, and western cultures are careful about people and special days.

But what I can’t understand is that the biggest deal is the Christmas! You guys live for it. You live the whole year to finish it and celebrate it. Gifts, songs, parties, events, meals, plans, dresses, Santa, socks, it’s a sin not to make it a big deal. It’s just like a girl starting a school and dreaming all about prom.  Christmas is every year though.

Turkish way of life is not suitable for this kind of day even though adopting some other special days seems fine.And I can find more than ten reasons for that, but I have never seen a blog with a title “13 reasons why..” so I will write 10 of them.

1.     
  Turkish people are not rich enough to adopt new years eve to consume and Christmas just 6 days before that.

2.     
  There is no way to make Turkish children believe in Santa, when they already believe in Granddad Moon, Mother Earth, and Father Allah.  I mean, which part of the family is Santa? He’s not, so Santa cannot be real.

3.    
   In this culture, especially Eastern Turkey, when a woman is pregnant with no father, the woman would be killed by Stones thrown by her villagers. Jesus wouldn’t possibly be born in this culture and no one would celebrate an unborn man’s birthday.

4.      
Who would cook turkey when there is a chance to slaughter sheep?

5.      
Christmas tree and gifts underneath for the whole family? Last time my dad bought a present for me, he ate them all because he forgot I don’t like sweets!

6.      
If Santa was believed to come to Turkey, and to be flying with 9 reindeers, probably especially after  Turkey met liberalism, he would be told to get permission and accused of not paying tax for using Turkish airspace and be banned to fly over the country with no Turkish flag on the car. Our government has a bit of misunderstanding wth tax stuff.

7.      
I wonder if Ibrahim Tatlıses wrote a Christmas song and we listened to that song a whole month, wait. I don’t want to think that.

8.     
  Christmas would be such a big deal in Turkey that it would be meaningless in the end. Look how Christmas still being celebrated and the importance is given but ask a Turkish young person about Ramadan or Sugar festival, you will most probably get the answer that it is just a bank holiday and they won’t give a damn about visiting elders and kissing hands. They don’t have time!

9.       
  It’s a big deal, and it’s great for economy in western countries. Everyone does shopping, buys stuff for people they feel they have to, and everyone is happy with that. Tree is put a month before the day, events are announced and invitations are given. And Christmas finishes, New Years Eve comes, and goes. And life goes back to normal with promises to oneself and so on. But in Turkey, that tree would stay there because of lazy shopkeepers, and there would be Christmas discount, and New Years Eve discount, and “we’re finishing what’s left” discount, and end of winter discount and all you could see would be the same Christmas discount design in the shops. I saw Ramadan packages in Tansas the other day, from summer. Who would want to buy Santa clothes in summer?

10.  
  We already have Ramadan and Sugar Festivals and if we had Christmas and New Years Eve with more than 4 days bank holiday, the traffic accidents and drink-drives would reach a level that it would be dangerous for this nation to grow the population.

Actually I’m glad we haven’t adopted Christmas, Halloween and the Thanksgiving. Wouldn’t it be the same thing you starting to slaughter animals for what you don’t believe?

Which Language Issue

A little while ago, a friend asked which language I think in. This question had been asked a few more times and I can say I don't know. Probably I think in the language I speak at that time. English and Turkish are different in structure, and a conversation is too fast to translate in the mind, so I must be thinking in English now to be able to type in English in the right structure. 

But I realised that I always do the maths in my native language.

I know it's a late answer, but better later than never. It's always good to answer a British for they are the most curious people I know. Especially after I learned that the scientists who found out that ants always fall on their right side when intoxicated were English, I gave up asking why the English are nosey. 

But I have a question. Why are you guys are so eager to learn everything but another language? I know you'll say you're lazy, everybody speaks English, and so on. Do you believe this too?

One side of my brain says "Come on!", the other side of my brain doesn't speak any English. Literally.

I'll try to be objective and share my observations on this language learning issue. 

In my town Fethiye, we assume there are over 10.000 people from the UK, either living or at least spending most of the year here. 

Some hang out with English comunity only; go to places that only British people go and refuse to speak any Turkish. Some of these people don't like Turks at all, some tried and have given up learning because it won't work, some feel uncomfortable when their mistakes or mispronunciations keep being corrected, some find it easier because there's always someone speaks English for them so why bother?

Another group of British people try and learn Turkish because they want to understand what's going on around them. So they go to Turkish classes, ask what things mean, but keep speaking English either because they feel unconfident or Turkish people don't let them to. 

The third group of people try and speak Turkish and insist on doing so. They do it because they want to be a part of the country, they like speaking another language, they want to show respect for native speakers, or they don't want to feel left out when people speak Turkish among themselves. 

The other side of the coin is, British people need native Turkish spekers to practise. It gets a bit more complicated here, because there are four types of native Turkish speakers that you communicate.

The first type speaks very little English or they're simly shy. They help you the most for your language practice. They encourage you to speak and correct you, which makes them great teachers. You generally start learning greetings, slangs and swearwords but isn't it how you start learning a language?

The second type of people think they're being rude if they keep correcting you. They think they're making you feel incapable or discouraging you, so they choose to speak English to make things easier for everyone's sake. 

The fourth type of Turk is the selfish one. They want to practise English so they don't let you practise Turkish. You say something in Turkish and get your reply in English. You try, learn and want to make a Turkish sentence and they say "Well done!" in English. 

There's another group of Turkish people always complain about British people coming to this country and not learning the language. How 'bout that!

As a language teacher, I would recomend you to go for the swearwords. Learning 10 swearwords means learning 10 degrees of politeness, 10 different situations in real life and 10 answers to them, which makes 30 different grammar rules or sentences as a good start.

Hello and All

A friend said I should write my blogs in English so my English-speaking friends can read them as well. So I created this "I am the Kara Murat" to write my blogs in English.

"I am the Kara Murat" is one of my favorite quotes from a Yeşilçam movie. I cba to explain the movie or the quote, but before you ask, Kara Murat is a hero in our history like William Wallace, Robin Hood and such.

And for those who don't know what Yeşilçam is, it's the Turkey equivalent of Hollywood, Bollywood or you name it. Does the UK have one btw? I bet it's called "The Queen's Back Garden" if there's one.

Anyway, whoever reads my blogs, please keep in mind:
-I'm not going to translate what I write in Turkish since they only make sense in Turkish.
-You can swear at me in French but mind your language if I understand.
-If you don't like what I write, please close this page instead of teaching me a lesson. I did that for Calis Beach Forum as I don't give a damn thing about anything said in there.
-Only I can lol, you cannot. Yes, you got it: I'm not democratic as I'm not British, lol.
-Don't expect me to write about politics. I will.
-Call me racist and I'll find and hit you hard.

Now that we're settled, will someone be so kind and tell me if you get paid to make "the joke"? Is it a condition to come to Turkey? Do you have to go through this "how to make the joke" step while you book a flight over? Or is it a brochure they give you in the airport?

You all know what I mean. The joke is made always the same way as in:

British: Your English is very good!
Turkish:Thank you.
British:Better than my Turkish, hahahhaha!

I think I'll never know if it's because the joke requires a laugh after it is made or if the British really finds it so amusing. I can't decide which one is worse, I guess I don't really want to learn. I even know some people making the same joke every year.

But there's a way to turn it into a useful thing. It's a way of understanding if that Turkish has good intentions for you or not.

If the Turkish laughs, turn the opposite side, and using all your muscles, get away from there; he's either a total idiot with no sense of humor or just immune to this joke and focused on what he's earning when the conversation finishes.If he smiles, he is being politic and respecting your sense of humor, he won't harm you.If he sighs, he is being honest, cling on him.

Me? I'm and estate agent, what do you expect me to do? If that person is buying, I laugh. If deposit paid, I smile. After tapu is delivered, I start my never-ending criticizes about English sense of humor.

I have good theories about these brochures given in the airport.Maybe I bring on here so you guys enlighten me?